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Charlene transitioned into Spirit on November 17, 2014.  This website is in memory of her.

Me and My Shadow

Why do we find ourselves disproportionately angry with the selfishness of a friend, the laziness of a coworker, the arrogance of a family member - or even the rudeness of a stranger? Why do the same old things get to us so easily, and so intensely?

Beneath the social mask we wear every day, we have a hidden shadow side: part of the unconscious mind consisting of repressed weaknesses, shortcomings, all our disowned, despised, and repressed traits, our impulsive, wounded, sad, or isolated parts that we generally try to ignore.

The shadow reminds us of our emotional unfinished business, of what we're trying to skip over or leave behind. Those ignored shadow aspects disrupt our lives and give way to worry, anxiety, unease and fear. Worry is rarely useful, worry is praying for and attracting to you what you really do not want.

Whenever we repress an emotion, or deny an issue in our life these repressed emotions or unresolved issues will go underground into the subconscious mind often causing havoc with our lives. Painful experiences not dealt with are unconsciously repeated.
We must make our shadow and all the fears and rejection associated with it conscious, or we'll be at its mercy forever. Until we confront and befriend our Shadow, we will continue to live with the illusion of virtue and righteousness. We will remain vulnerable to the sabotage of marriage, family, career, love, health and important friendships.

Humans are prone to projection, turning our fears and personal inferiority into a perceived moral deficiency in someone else. In essence our projections onto others are really projections onto ourselves, since we are all connected. First, we must avoid projecting our shadow on to other people. Our shadow, because it is our dark side, may be quite frightening, and we may even see it as something evil. We may therefore want to disown it; and one way of doing this is to make believe it is the property of someone else.

Unless honesty with oneself is valued more than being "good," secure, successful or accepted, more than any other virtue, one is destined to a life of self-deceit, full of hidden ego-inflation, programmed for self-sabotage.

Learning to read the messages our shadow encodes in daily life can deepen our consciousness, imagination, and soul. The Shadow can be a source of emotional richness and vitality, and acknowledging it can be a pathway to healing and an authentic life. We meet our dark side, accept it for what it is, and we learn to use its powerful energies in productive ways.

What are you hiding from yourself? Get to know yourself fully, from as many angles as possible, in order that you might dare to let yourself go free.  Being neither judge, jury, prosecutor, nor defender---you give no explanations, nor do you require any. Tools for working with the Shadow Self are: dreams, journaling, therapy, personality profiling, group work or spiritual direction or guidance and Shadow workshops.

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. Courage to change the things I can. Wisdom to know the difference”. Serenity Prayer

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